CHAPTER 3

Summer slowly passed by with me seeing myself watching Jiyong from afar. I would just find myself always staring at his direction while clutching on my chest, and would shyly look away whenever he would meet my gaze. I have been acting weird after the festival, and this strange feeling inside me kept on bothering me as well.





And from watching Jiyong, I am bearing the odd pain that always strikes me whenever I would see him with Ji Hyo. Though the gossips about them died out, though he already told me that they are only friend, I still couldn’t help but to feel this strangely uneasiness inside me. I might even have looked like a predator always watching my prey from afar.





Riding his bike going to school and going home became just a plain silent ride because of me. I continued with my silent war against… myself. I never planned and wanted to act this way but I can’t help it. Jiyong’s making me mute by just doing nothing. What made me sadder was that, he never asked why again, he just played along with the silence I’m giving him; not that I care, but towards the end, it’s always me who’s dying to hear from him.





Another sigh escaped my throat. My chin was resting on my palm as I once again, watch Jiyong from the window of our room as he was chatting with his ‘fortunately’ guy friends outside.





“What’s wrong with me?”





I mumbled. I could feel my forehead creasing; wrinkles were probably appearing on my face now because of too much thinking but still, I can’t figure out what’s happening with me. I think my head would burst from too much thinking which I’m really not used to doing. Jiyong’s the one assigned to thinking, while I’m only assigned to just blabber out whatever that comes to my mind.





“Why? Are you sick?”





I heard someone spoke behind me, and my gaze quickly darted away from Jiyong towards the hand that I felt against my forehead.





“You seem fine. What’s wrong?”





Before I could even turn around and face the man who owns that big hand and deep husky voice, he had leaned down to me which startled me because his face immediately welcomed my sight and because of the small distance between our faces; his thick eyebrows curved out an arch as he gave me a warm big smile. My eyes widen and quickly pulled myself up and distanced myself a bit away from him.





I looked around for a bit and sure saw my girl classmates all pouted, probably because of envy and jealousy; I sometimes get scared what his fan girls might do to me, because honestly Seunghyun has been visiting me often in our classroom these past few days; I didn’t know why, either when he started calling me by my nickname, Dara; not that I have something against it but, I’m really wondering why he’s acting all so sweet and caring towards me. And whenever I would ask him about that, concerning myself about his fan girls, he would just show me that infamous smile of his and tell me because he just wanted to. I could just only nod, pout and tell him that he better explain his fan girls that we’re just friends then after that I will hear him chuckle before he pats my head. It’s always been like that, until I got tired from asking him and just let him do what he wants; now he’s even barging in our classroom much to his comfort.





“Nothing, what are you doing here? You startled me.”





I smiled at him. He gave me back a sly smile before he went closer to me and before I could even block his hand, he had already pinched my cheek. That’s one of his habits whenever he would see me; I’m afraid that my face would swell from too much pinching that I get from him but still, he wouldn’t stop and would even blame it to my chubby cheeks.





“Why are you so cute?”





He told me, that’s when I slapped his hand away and pouted. I heard him chuckle before he grabbed my hand and started to drag me out of the room.





I’m supposed to feel that strange giddiness inside the pits of my stomach just like the first time he held my hand, I should blush whenever our skin brush against each other, should feel like my cheeks will burn whenever he would look at me; but none of these feelings would hit me whenever he would do those things. I knew it; that was really just because of the hotness of summer.





“My mom cooked some seafood that she got from the neighboring town.”





We started hanging out during lunch as well, with Jiyong and also with Ji Hyo. I don’t know why she’s here, why she’s always with Jiyong whenever we would hang out during breaks. Honestly don’t like it, I don’t like her being near with us, especially with Jiyong. Sure she’s a nice girl, but I can’t make myself no matter how I try to like her.





I was lost in my thoughts, watching the two across the table while Seunghyun kept on putting food on my plate, I shrugged off my shoulders and decided to look away while pouting. And as I was about to eat the food I randomly picked on my plate, a hand suddenly stopped me. I quickly looked at the owner of the hand and I felt my heart suddenly jumped when I saw that it was Jiyong.





“Dara-ah… that’s a squid, did you forget that you’re allergic to it?”





I looked down on the food mentally hit myself for not being careful, that even until eating; I still needed Jiyong to remind me of things. Has he been watching me this whole time? He gently put my hand down while I just stay silent and couldn’t take to look at him.





“Here.”





He got my plate as pushed his in front of me. I finally looked up only to see him not looking at me anymore.





They started chatting, while I just sat there listening to them. Jiyong was also silent like he always is, with only Ji Hyo and Seunghyun doing the talking, once in a while my gaze will land to Jiyong, as if he has some kind of magnet that no matter where I look, I always end up staring at him; and just like what I have been doing this past few days, I would blush and quickly look away whenever he would catch me staring at him. I guess I was wrong about not having that summer sickness anymore, for I think it has even gotten worse.





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“Are you done answering the future plan sheet?”





Jiyong broke me out from my trance with his question. We were on his bike, on the way to our school, with me seated behind him again thinking about what happened earlier at home. My mom scolded me again, and it was about that ‘future plan sheet’ that Jiyong was talking about.





I never thought of planning for the future. I just never expected time to pass by this quick, that one more semester left, we’re all going to depart ways and face that path we decided to take, and unfortunately for me, I still haven’t found anything that I want to be in the future. I was used


to following Jiyong’s words, with him always do things for me, so it never crossed my mind to do things my own and that flared up mom’s patience towards me earlier.





“I can’t think of anything to write on it.”





I flatly answered Jiyong, it took him a while for him to speak again.





“What’s wrong? All you have to do is to write what you want to be in the future”





That’s the problem; I don’t even know what I want.





“How about you? Are you already done with it?”





I asked him back instead. I felt him sighed before he glanced back a bit and answered me.





“Yes. So you should start answering it, everyone needs to pass it on Friday. Do you want Mrs. Lee to scold you again?”





I pouted and looked down.





“Can you just answer it for me Jiyong? After all, we’re still going to be together right?”





I mumbled, not really thinking about my words, and when I only received silence from him, I continued.





“I just want to be with you always, that’s the only thing that I have in mind.”





Still lost in my thoughts, letting my lips spoke off everything that I feel right at that moment, without hesitations I tightened my hold on his sides.





“Silly…”





I heard him whispered. Yes… I’m silly. Always thinking of the easiest way to escape, always depending myself in your care, I’m silly for thinking that you’re forever be with me. But can’t we?





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I was fixing my things, readying myself to meet Jiyong and go home when I heard someone called my name. I followed the voice and saw Seunghyun standing right outside our classroom wearing an unreadable expression on his face.





He looked around for a bit, the students slowly lessened until it’s just the two of us. I continuously looked at him questioningly while he gave me back a slight smile.





He slowly went towards me, biting on his lower lip like a kid who got into trouble. He kept shifting his gaze to the side until he reached the spot in front of me.





“What’s wrong Seunghyun-ah?”





He bowed down for a bit, then I was startled when he grabbed my hand. Felt that racing going on inside my chest again, my hands started to sweat from the forming anticipation I could feel inside. Strange… it was all strange again.





He looked up and I almost let out a gasp when our eyes locked and one of his hand reached for the side of my face and felt it caress it.





“No matter how I try I always end up staring at you… it’s my first time feeling this odd feeling inside of me whenever you’re near. I don’t know how I managed to hold myself back, just watching you from afar… but right now, I don’t want to be a coward anymore and let the others have their way to take you away…”





I was stilled. I don’t know what he was talking about but it feels like every of his words pierced right through me. His every words clearly described every of my feelings, every of my actions towards my best friend. How come Seunghyun knew all about it? Why was telling me those things? And before my mind could even process the reason behind it, his next words had beaten me to it.





“I love you Dara…”





I don’t know if it was his voice or was those words that brought shivers down my entire body, but after hearing it everything inside me all went blank. I can’t look at him; I can’t even let out a single word. First time hearing it, I should at least say something, but I was so lost. And the only thing that I am sure about what I’m feeling was that, what I am feeling inside was far from the bliss that I was expecting to feel.





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I walked my way home. When I went out Jiyong was not there anymore. The sun was about to set down, the water in the river reflected its ginger color; the water sparkled as if bits of tiny diamonds were poured in it. I was still in a state of blankness; my mind was flying off somewhere until I let out a sigh.





And when I looked ahead, a gasp escaped my throat upon seeing ‘him’ in his bike, making his way towards me. I stopped from my tracks as I watched him. The last rays of the sun hit his form perfectly, casting his shadow below him, his beauty was flawlessly being highlighted by the sunset. He was pedaling his bike as if he’s racing between life and death; I knew he saw me because the once worried face slowly got replaced by a calm one when he got nearer.





As the distance between us slowly lessened, my heart began racing once again. My lips parted as the music created by my heart played along my ears, until my vision slowly blurred; only to realize that tears had been blocking my clear vision.





Jiyong hurriedly went down from his bike before he could even reach me. The poor bike got almost thrown away as he roughly got off from it. I stood still on my spot, waited for him as he ran towards me. It was clear in his face that he was mad and I was expecting to be scolded by him because of that.





But I was wrong, for as soon as he was an inch away from me, I felt myself got enveloped by his tight hug, heard myself gasped from the force our bodies collided with each other.





“Where were you? I’ve been looking all over for you. I thought something bad happened to you!”





I heard him yelled, felt his arm held me so tight that I thought I would break, his hand continuously caressed the back of my head; but I could only bury my head on his shoulder and cry.





After Seunghyun’s confession, I quickly ran to the rooftop of our building and hid myself, I don’t know why but I wanted to be alone and calm myself. I didn’t realize that I was crying and took me almost an hour to calm my nerves. But here I am now again; crying in Jiyong’s embrace couldn’t control my overflowing emotions. I don’t even know the reasons behind my tears, was it because of happiness, or because of this strange sadness that I am feeling again.





I felt him pulled me out from our hug; I looked up and saw him looking down at me with clear worry in his face. He was still holding one of my shoulders tight as one of his hands reached for my face and wiped off my tears.





“What happened? Why are you crying? Did something happen?”





That was my first time hearing Jiyong in so much panic, and honestly, I liked it. I want him to worry about me, I want him to always protect me, I want him to always make sure that I’m always at his side, I want him to think only of me.





I bit my trembling lip before speaking.





“Seunghyun…”





I choked on my tears and saw his brow furrowed in much frustration upon hearing his friend’s name.





“Seunghyun… told me that he loves me.”





I finally said it before another wave of tear escaped my eyes. Jiyong’s hold slowly loosened, his face had completely been blurred out because of my tears, I wanted to see his reaction, I wanted to know how he felt upon me saying that thing. I just wanted to know.





But then, I found myself being hugged by him again, my tears slowly drenched his shirt. He held me so softly that all I could feel was his warmth that added more to the burning feeling inside my chest.





“He asked me to be his girlfriend Jiyong-ah…”





I whispered, gripping tightly on his back as my arms wrapped along his waist, hugging him back. For a while he was silent, only caressing my head and back that I could only close my eyes in so much comfort that he’s giving me.





“I don’t know what to do. He said he’ll wait. I can’t think. I don’t know.”





“Sssh… then why are you crying?”





He whispered back. There I felt my heart been pricked with his question and because of the pain I could feel in his voice.





I couldn’t answer him back, instead I just cried more, and bury my face on his chest, wanting to hear the beats of his heart.





The reason I was crying was because it was not from Seunghyun I was expecting to hear those words, because I just realized in myself that I wanted to hear those words from another person, and that person was the same person I am crying my eyes out now, the person who could make my heart race fast and slow at the same time, the person who I was with all my life, the person who I selfishly want for myself. I was crying because I want to hear it from Jiyong, and knowing that it’s impossible for right in the first place it was only me who has this selfish desire and probably because he has those words ready for another girl.





“I’m happy for you”

CHAPTER 2

The festival came; I was a bit happy and excited, becauseafter all it’s Seunghyun that I’ll be with. But on the backof my mind, I couldn’t help but to feel lonely for, for thefirst time, I am not with my best friend.




Seunghyun was happy to be with; he’s totally different fromJiyong with his warm company and him always throwing funnyjokes. But I couldn’t help but to miss Jiyong’s seriousness.I miss pulling him to different booths and making him to play and get all the prizes for me because with Seunghyun, I don’t need to whine and ask for him to get me a prize for as if he already knows what I want.





And as if God had heard my thoughts, I saw Jiyong at one of the booths in the place. I almost forgot about Seunghyun and just ran up to my best friend, but when I saw Jiyong was with someone, especially when that someone was the same girl I saw with him these past few days, something slowly died inside of me. For a while I just watch them having fun, well, on the part of the girl because sure, he's still the same cold guy I know.





But when I saw that same warm smile that crept on his lips just like that day when I saw them, a sudden wave of pain struck inside my chest and I realized why; it was because it wasn’t me who he was smiling at again.






I just stood there. Glued on my spot; watching Superman with his Lois Lane. They definitely look good together just like what the others say; but why can’t I make myself, even on the slightest way, be happy at what I’m seeing? Instead, this unexplainable pain kept on pricking my insides.






Then I heard myself gasped. As if it wasn’t enough for me to see them, as if it wasn’t enough for me to look pathetic standing from afar, watching them; Jiyong turned his gaze towards me; and the smile on his lips slowly vanished upon seeing me.





He looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face, but still, I just stood there stiffened on my spot. I saw them walked towards me, but all I could see was Jiyong looking straight at me. The noise of the festival, the crowded place slowly vanished one by one as all I could see was him still looking at me with those unexpressive eyes. Just then I felt my heart started to beat hard, impossible it may be but I could hear it racing so wild that I almost thought it would escape from my ribs. What’s happening with me? I kept asking myself; only to hear nothing but that wild beats that’s been escaping from my chest.





Then I could feel the urge to run again. Silly, why would I run away?






And as they went nearer; I could feel my heart throbbed more, but as much as I think that it’s because I was only excited to see my friend, it still wouldn’t reciprocate the painful feeling from each and every throb that I could feel. The look in his eyes, it was different from his usual stares. As if it were boring holes through my face, such judgment his eyes were sending me. Why is he looking at me that way?






And when I thought I would die from having a heart attack; when I thought my ribs would break from too much pounding inside my chest, I felt something landed on my shoulder. Bringing me back from my painful trance; breaking my gaze away from Jiyong.





I looked over my shoulder and saw a hand on top of it, but what surprised me more was to realize that it wasn’t only a hand but an arm that was wrapped around me and from no other than Choi Seunghyun.






I looked up to see him. Still blank from what’s happening, I watched the side of his face and saw him smiled at the people before us. I felt his hand gripped tightly on my shoulder and felt myself being squeezed as he pulled me closer to him. I couldn’t break free, for I am confused, totally baffled that I could only stay silent as I turned my gaze back to Jiyong.






He was still looking at me. I heard Seunghyun spoke but I couldn’t decipher any of the words that came out from him, I
saw Jiyong looked away from me and started talking with Seunghyun. I didn’t know they knew each other. But setting my curiosity aside, I can’t make myself stop from watching my best friend as he continued talking with the man I’m with. Until I realized, I was back from being dazed.





He has really grown big, sure he still has those gleaming tiny eyes, his pointy nose, up to his plump lips but as if it was all different from before for I never knew Jiyong has grown this handsome.






I felt a sudden dryness in my throat; feeling a forming lump in it. I gulped down as I continued admiring the beauty of my best friend until after a while my gaze landed on his lips, watching it as he spoke. I can’t look away rather; I think I really don’t want to look away.





“Dara…”





What’s happening with me? It feels so odd. As if I want to do this all night long. As if watching him would be much of my contentment. Why? He’s only Jiyong, my best friend.





“Dara…”





I snapped out from my trance when I heard Seunghyun calling me. I immediately broke my gaze away from Jiyong and looked up to Seunghyun.





“Are you okay?”






He asked, and it was clear in his voice that he’s somewhat worried. I just then realized that he’s been holding me for quite a while now. I felt myself blush, with that I quickly wriggled myself away from him as I bowed down a bit to hide my flushed face.





“I’m fine.”






I looked up as I tucked my loose hair behind my ears and bit my lip as I saw the three of them looking at me in curiosity, I must’ve startled them with my sudden action. I saw Seunghyun as he let out a light chuckle; I could only let out a slight smile as my gaze trailed back to Jiyong only for it to be stopped when the girl he’s with called my attention.





“You’re must probably Sandara.”





She leaned towards me as she extended her hand and presented me with a wide sweet smile. I looked down to her hand before I looked up and turned to Jiyong who was still looking at me with an unreadable look on his face.






I pouted and snubbed him; how could he not tell me about ‘her’?






I turned back to the girl, she’s beautiful, and clearly she’s nice; no wonder why Jiyong liked her. But honestly, thinking about it really makes me mad.






I bit my inner cheeks before I nodded my head and took her hand, I know I’m acting childish again, but I didn’t care because I really felt betrayed about Jiyong not telling me about this, he even invited her to this festival.






“I heard lots of things about you from Jiyong. By the way I’m Song Ji Hyo, nice to meet you”






And they even talked about me. I wonder what he told her about me. Probably how much annoying I am, probably on how much he wanted to wished he never knew a childish person like me, probably how much of a nuisance I am to him.






I learned that the three of them really knew each other. I could only pout and sulk, feeling sorry for myself for being the last person to know all about these. What am I busying myself this whole time for not knowing about these?






The rest of the night was a torture for me, for aside from my aching feet, the worsening pain inside my chest really bothered me. Seunghyun and I were behind Jiyong and Ji Hyo. As much as I wanted to listen to Seunghyun’s stories, I can’t help myself but to watch my best friend again, I was used watching his back but the fact that it wasn’t only his instead he’s with someone else than me, really inflicted that weird pain inside me.






He didn’t even bothered talking to me, not that I’m not usedto it. But he should’ve at least told me why he was with ‘her’, as if the reason were not that clear to me. And whydid he bother reminding me about this festival the other day when right in the first place he was planning to come with his ‘Lois Lane’?






I let out a long discrete groan as soon as we sat on a part of the riverbank, waiting for the highlight of the night, the fireworks display. My heels were totally killing me, why did I even wear these kinds of shoes in the first place?






“Are you sure you’re okay Sandara?”






Seunghyun asked me, I quickly gave him a forced smile as I told him I’m okay. Making him worry about my probably now bruised feet was the last thing I want to do this night.






Soon the first batch of the fireworks colored the night, the water in the river reflected those lights and the whole crowd was all immersed by the beauty of it and that includes me. This is one of my favorite things during summer; watching the free fireworks show together with my best friend. Apparently now, it wasn’t only him that I’m with, neither was he.






I just found myself drifting my gaze away from the heavens, stealing a chance to get a glimpse of him again. And when I finally set my eyes on him, I felt myself smiling from it. As if looking at him was better than watching those colorful lights in the night, missing a whole batch of fireworks for this summer to feed my silliness and watched the side of his
face as he looked above, watching him the whole time he was not looking at me.





And as I continuously did, I felt those strange beatings in my heart once again. My eyes widen as an overwhelming feeling showered over me. But I just sat there, unmoving, gaze still fixed on him, probably looking like a fool that all I needed was to drool over the beauty of my best friend.





I was still in my own world, as if I finally swallowed my tongue for up until the fireworks had ended, up until the whole festival had ended, I never spoke a single word. This ‘summer sickness’ has really gotten into me this time; I just felt so weird inside.





Seunghyun and Ji Hyo bid their goodbyes; apparently they belong to the same neighborhood which was different from Jiyong and I. And when I realized it, it was already too late for the two of them had already headed home, leaving me, Jiyong and the deafening silence behind.





I didn’t know when it started but I never imagined myself feeling this awkward towards my best friend of whole life; that I couldn’t even look at him now after that fireworks show. What has gotten into me?





“What has gotten into you for wearing those heels?”





I finally heard his voice after a period of an excruciating silence. I quickly darted my gaze towards him and despite the dimness of the night, I saw the worry in his face. I was left baffled for a moment. Heels? And before I could ask him what he was talking about, my eyes widen when I felt his arm draped along my waist and before I knew it, I was being lifted up by him. With that, I quickly wrapped my arms along his neck and could only watch the side of his face as he started walking us to somewhere.





I felt myself being seated on a bench. I stayed silent, still dazed as to what he was up to. I saw him stoop down in front of me and lifted up one of my legs; that’s when I snapped out from my trance.





“What… what are you doing?”





I tried to stop him only to hear myself let out a long groan when he took off my shoe and held my foot.




I was left watching him as he shook his head. He was too focused on my bruised foot and started on massaging it. I bit my lower lip and my eyes fluttered when I started to feel a stinging feeling as I continuously watched him.





“My friends said that I should start wearing heels because I look short.”





I mumbled, not thinking about my words, just to replace that silence that’s been sucking my sanity. I heard him chuckled as he shook his head again and reached for my other foot. I felt my lips started to quiver, until I realized that I was about to cry from watching him.





“But on the other hand, it doesn’t look good for a girl to be so tall. So stop wearing these things.”





My vision started to blur, until I felt my tears started to stream down on my cheeks and my hands quickly reached for my eyes to wipe my tears away.





Jiyong immediately noticed it and quickly looked up to me. His hands immediately reached for mine to take it off from my eyes and there I saw again the worry in his face.





“Why are you crying? Are you hurt somewhere?”




He worriedly asked, but still I continued crying; doesn’t even know the reason behind my tears. It’s just so painful inside, the heaviness inside my chest and the painful lump in my throat was too unbearable that I just wanted to cry it all out.




“Dara-ah… what’s wrong?”





His soft voice played along my ears. He held one of my hands as he caressed my cheek with the back of his other hand. I looked up to him; saw the crease on his forehead despite my blurred vision. My lips didn’t stop from quivering and my shoulders began trembling from too much crying.





“My feet hurt…”





I said between my sobs, and just then I saw his face slowly calmed down. His shoulders dropped at ease and slowly, a smile formed on his lips.






I’m such liar. I didn’t know where and when I learned how to lie, but I managed to let out one.





I just realized that I was not crying because my feet hurt; I couldn’t even feel it anymore for I am completely numb from other feelings aside from the painful beats in my chest.





I was crying because I miss his voice. I miss talking with him. I miss him telling me what to do or not, I miss him scolding me because of my childish acts. I miss him even though just earlier we were together. I know it was my fault for putting up that silent war that was known only by me. And it may be too shallow of a reason, that it’s only been just two days since I last talked of nothing but silliness with him, but I don’t care. I just miss him.





I closed my eyes and continued to bawl, until after a while, I gasped. My eyes widen and tears instantly stopped when I felt something wet and soft landed on my forehead.





“Don’t cry now little girl”





I heard him whispered before he caressed my head with his hand. I was left stiff on my seat when he wiped off the tears on my cheeks before he went back on massaging my feet. My eyes blinked for a couple of times, trying to decipher what just happened. He just kissed me.





Jiyong just kissed me.





My entire being all went blank. The pain that’s been bothering me was all gone. With just a simple kiss on my forehead, everything inside me felt all hot and pounding.





And aside from the kiss he gave, those words that he just spoke… the same words he spoke when we first met added up to reasons why every fibers in my being were all rejoicing. He’s still the same ‘toothless’ superman that I knew.





Before my hand could reach up to touch my forehead, which seemed like marked by some magic spell that clearly stopped my tears; he came to stop my hand as he held it with his. I looked up to him and saw him smiling down at me again. The same smile that ‘toothless’ superman gave me from back then.





“Let’s go home”





He turned around with me facing his back and stoop down again. He grabbed both of my arms and wrapped it around his neck as he slowly pulled me towards him.






“What are you doing?”





I quickly asked him even though I have a gist of what he’s planning to do.





“I didn’t bring my bike.”





With that, he gave me my shoes back as he completely let my arms wrapped around his neck. Without another word, he lifted me up on his back. I heard him groaned before he stood up.





I gasped when he bounced me up a bit on his arm; I quickly tightened my hold on him as I rested my head on top of his shoulder.





He looked to the side, I saw him smiled before he started with his tracks.






Silence enveloped us. I snuggled my head on his shoulder as I closed my eyes and couldn’t help but to smile despite the
awkwardness of doing this thing at such age. For I can’t feel anything aside from the bliss that just like when we were kids, superman came to my aid again.




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“Are you okay now?”




He broke the silence as he whispered. I don’t know how long I have been on his back but I couldn’t help but to wish for  the time to just stop, or for our house to be still far; because I never felt this good before.




I nodded my head, not bothering to open up my eyes, I inhaled his scent; same smell as the freshly mowed grass, the sweet smell of the flowers blooming, the smell of the fruits from the trees as the wind brushed by them, the smell of barbeque… amazing, he smelled like summer.





“Are you mad at me?”





I quickly opened my eyes as soon as I heard those words from him.





“You were quiet these past few days, was it because I scolded you because of your skirt, or because you were the only one who was punished when we came late for class?”





My eyes widen with his words. That was probably the longest statement I heard from him. He actually noticed my silence.





I smiled against his shoulder before I pulled myself up a bit to have a glimpse of the side of his face. His scolding was all nothing to me, I’m already used to be scolded at by him, and the punishment; it wasn’t even only me who cleaned the whole yard.





“No. It’s because you keep things from me.”





I pouted, remembering about Ji Hyo, remembering how close they were with each other without me even knowing what they have between them.





“Hmmm?”




“You… and Ji Hyo… are you guys…”





I heard him chuckled before he looked to the side again and peeked at me.





“What do you mean?”





My brows furrowed and it took me a period of silence before I let out a sigh and asked him again.





“Is Ji Hyo your girlfriend?”





He suddenly stopped from his tracks which startled me a bit. After a while he chuckled before he started to walk again.





“Where did you hear that?”





He said after he chuckled, I pouted again and rolled my eyes.





“The girls in my class were all talking about you two.”





“You easily believe in whatever you hear don’t you? First the fairies, then the skirt, then the heels and now this? What else did they say? ”





My eyes widen, totally offended by his blow. I was about to bite his shoulder for revenge but got stopped when he continued.





“As long as it’s not from me… don’t believe on whatever you hear from others arasso?”





“You’re too full of yourself sometimes.”





I retaliated back but he just chuckled at me.





“So… it’s not true…?”





I couldn’t help but to ask again. My curiosity was really killing me.





“Are you asking me because you’re jealous?”





That struck me hard. Jealous? Probably I am.






If it’s only pain that I could feel whenever I see them together, if I want him to just look only at my direction, if I wanted him to talk only to me, if I wanted him to smile only at me and if I wanted him to be superman only to me. I’m selfish. And I probably am jealous.





I stayed silent, dropped my head back on his shoulder as I let out a sigh. Why can’t he just answer it? Why does he need to make me feel bad again, because seriously, thinking how jealous I probably am seeing them together slowly breaks me.





“She’s just a friend…”






But despite the supposed to be reassurance that he told me, I couldn't help but to still feel sad. Probably because it was not what I am wanting to hear from him; but I myself doesn’t even know what I wanted to hear just to make myself in peace.






“But Jiyong, I don’t want to see you with someone else.”






My mind screamed those words over and over again, for it’s only selfishness that I am capable of doing for him. I tightened my hug around his neck. I didn’t care if he would choke from it. But I just want to feel his presence before me. I want him to at least feel that I will always need him. I don’t want to let go, for hearing him say those things about ‘her’ being ‘just a friend’ sent a different meaning to my selfish mind.






“Stop from worrying about little things Dara-ah…”





I heard him mumbled as he looked over his shoulder.





“Don’t ever leave me Jiyong”





I closed my eyes again, I’m not even sure what else came out from my mouth for I was back to inhaling his scent, my mind was filled only about the scent of summer. Letting silence enveloped us again.





When I opened my eyes, I just found myself in the comfort of my room and saw through the curtains of my window that it’s already a new day. Just like back then, I fell asleep on his back again.

CHAPTER 1

“Do you believe in fairies?”




We were riding his bicycle on our way to our school, with me sitting behind him while holding on to his waist. It was never a silent ride, with me always doing the talking while he does the listening and the driving. And this day is one of those days.




It just came out to me in a sudden; like it was the sanest words to speak as of the moment. It was probably because of last night, when I listened to my mom when she told stories to my little sister. I was quickly enthralled by it, I didn’t know how could those simple stories hit me like a bullet train; leaving a great mark in my mind that until now, I could still feel the giddiness that’s tickling my insides.





What would it be like to have my own fairy godmother? One who will, with just a flick of her finger, make me wear a very beautiful dress with matching glass slippers; or with just a sprinkle of her magic dust, would make me fly and could be in anywhere I want to be. And one who will, with just a wave of her magic wand, would bring me towards my prince charming and have my happy ending.




I couldn’t believe that in my eighteen years of existence, it’s only today that I see myself imagining about these things. And I couldn’t believe that I am blushing thinking about my own fairytale.




“No”




His cold stern voice suddenly interrupted my thoughts. And just then, the wide sweet curve on my lips got replaced by a pout; totally displeased upon hearing his negative feedback. I had expected that blow; he was always like that, breaking my fantasies by giving me the reality through his cold treatment. But I couldn’t make myself to dislike him, because for no reason at all; I really love that side of him.





Kwon Jiyong. Has it already been eight years? No, I think it’s more than that. We’ve been friends like forever; we had went through a lot being together as always, I just can’t see myself doing things without him, since that one summer day when he rescued me and Tamtam from those bullies way back when we were still kids, I started to forget the meaning of independence and lonesome.




It was a bright day. I was playing with Tamtam, my violet plush toy at the park of the neighborhood, and unfortunately for me, it was one of those days when the bullies in my neighborhood would attack kids along their way and steal their toys.




One of the bullies got Tamtam from me. I tried, with my weak arms get Tamtam from them, but one of them just shoved me away. They were big and I was small. All I could do was to helplessly cry, as if someone just died. And honestly, the feeling was worse than that. Having your only friend taken away from you without a fight, with you cannot do anything to stop them from doing it. I was totally devastated.




And as I was being laughed at by those heartless bullies, just then I heard his cold voice for the first time. He was stuttering a bit, probably because of fear or because of his toothless front.





One of my knees was wounded. And I was kneeling on the cold ground, crying my eyes out when I felt his warm hand touched my head and made me look up.




“Don’t cry now little girl”





Those were the only warm words I could remember him spoke. My lips were still trembling, my vision blurred from the tears that continuously trailed down from my eyes but I could clearly see him smiling down at me. And as if his words were like magic, my tears suddenly stopped. I would laugh about his toothless front, but right there all I could feel was the security and the warmth he gave despite his cold eyes and voice. I would laugh about him who’s wearing a superman costume in the middle of summer, but all I could feel was the gratefulness that finally, someone was there to help… and fortunately for me it was superman.





I didn’t know how he managed to beat them all with his small frame. But thinking, he’s superman; of course nothing’s impossible for him.





My tears had dried. I was still kneeling on the ground when he came back from his fight. I felt my heart jumped a bit as a clear bruise was seen on the side of his lips. But despite that, he was smiling at me; holding on to Tamtam, he came to my aid and even helped me to stand up. I gasped in pain. He heard it and probably noticed the wound on my knee.





He gave back Tamtam to me and without a word from him, I just felt myself being lifted up. My eyes widen in surprise; until I found myself being carried by him on his back. I tried to put myself back on the ground but he held me tight, I blushed in shame when he squeezed one of my bottoms to make me stop from struggling. I pouted for a while, until it was replaced with a smile. I could only thank him, only to earn silence in his response.





The next thing came out as a blur to me. I fell asleep on his back, it was very unusual for me to fell asleep but I did; especially on a stranger’s back. And honestly, it was one of the most comfortable sleeps I had in my life. I didn’t even know how he found my house but he did, after all he’s superman. My mom just told me after I woke up that superman had brought me home. And all I could do was to smile back and look forward to tomorrow to see my hero again.





That’s probably the reason why I didn’t get to enjoy the beauty of fairytales when I was a kid. For when that day that “toothless” superman helped me, I started loving superheroes instead of fairies. I preferred playing with him and Tamtam with those burglars versus superheroes types of games instead of playing dollhouse and cooking.





Even though I realized that he really doesn’t want to play those kinds of games; that, the day he was wearing that superman costume was when he attended a birthday party near the park. And that he would always tell me to find another playmate for he prefers to read books instead of playing those lame games. How could an eight-year-old kid prefer books over games? In the end, he would always still be my playmate. He would shake his head and come to me telling me how annoying I could be. How could he be so cold at such a young age? Apart from that day when he helped me and Tamtam, I never saw him smile at me again, probably it was because of his toothless front, or probably he’s just too annoyed at me. I could careless about his coldness, for all I could feel is the gratefulness that I finally found my friend in the person of a toothless superman.





“But I do believe in fairies”




I retaliated back and squinted my eyes as I looked at his broad back. And as usual, he gave silence in response. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and pouted my lips as I continuously stared on his back, he has grown big, the back that I fell asleep on back then has grown broad and firm. Just then, the pout on my lips slowly vanished as realization came to me. Why would I ask for a fairy godmother and a prince charming if I already have superman here with me?





“Hold on tight Dara, I’ll go fast.”





Why is it that whenever he would speak of my name, it would always sound so beautiful? His deep voice, some would find it scary but for me it is like music to my ears, his cold looks would be of arrogance to others but I find the security in him and his undying patience to a childish like me.





I woke up from my deep thoughts when I felt his hand reached for one of my arms and let it wrap along his waist. I looked up to him and saw him glanced at me before turning back to the road.





“Why do you keep on spacing out? You might fall, I told you to hold on tight.”





He was still holding tight on my other arm. I saw him took a glance on me again and just there when I decided to obey him. Just when I finally wrapped both of my arms around his waist, he slowly let go of my arm and went in full speed.





We’ll probably be late. It’s my fault that’s why. But he never scolded me about it, instead he scolded me about my newly cut skirt; telling me how would I ride his bicycle with my now shorter skirt. I told him it was because my friends told me it’s a new style but he only gave me a displeased look before handling me his jogging pants that he brought for his PE class. That’s the reason why I am now wearing his jogging pants under my skirt.





“Jiyong-ah. Sorry for making us late again.”





I told him as I rested my cheek against his back. And as usual, it’s his silence that I got from return. Being a hard-headed person that I am, I pulled myself away from him a bit. I smiled at his back as I pulled one of my arms away from his waist. I felt him instantly slowed down the bicycle.





“What are you doing?”





I heard him asked me only for me to extend my arm at the side, closing my eyes; feeling the warm breeze brushed against the palm of my hand and between my fingers. I smiled in contentment, before I slowly opened my eyes and looked up to see the back of his head.





“Jiyong-ah. It’s summer once again.”





And it didn’t escape my eyes the slight smile from the side of his lips when he glanced to the side before completely slowing down his bicycle.






Despite that we both arrived thirty-minute late in school, I was the only one who was punished by the teacher and was tasked to clean up the grounds for the whole period, unfair may it seemed, but the teachers love Jiyong too much to punish him for just a simple tardiness; the perks of being one of the top students.






From now on, I will never throw my trash anywhere I want; for it’s not really easy to pick up these little pieces of wrappers in the middle of summer. I couldn’t whine in protest since no one will hear and help me plus it will consume more of my energy if I will do that. Superman wasn’t able to help me this time. He just ruffled my hair earlier as he passed by me when the teacher told him to go on to his class; as if he already knew what in store for me.






“Don’t stay too long under the sun”






That’s the only thing that he told me before he left me alone facing a wide front yard to clean.






And now, here I am all sweaty and tired. And thinking about the backyard which twice the size of the front yard of our school that I needed to clean next, it makes me more tired. How am I supposed to clean it all by myself? For a lazy person like me, being able to do these things is quite a miracle; but really, this isn’t an easy task as I may say.






I was cooling myself down; resting my aching back against the wooden bench I am seated at when suddenly, out of nowhere, a bottle of cold water appeared in front of me. I was a bit taken aback, almost jumped from the bench not until I realized that someone was holding the bottled water in front of me. I followed the extended arm; shifted my head to the side and startled to find a familiar face smiling right at me.






“Hello, are you Sandara Park of class 4-C?”






I blinked my eyes for a couple of times, trying to wake myself up, thinking that the hotness of summer finally went up to my head and made me hallucinate things. It just couldn’t happen that Choi Seunghyun, the team captain of our school’s football team was standing behind the bench I am seating at, spoke of my name and even handling me a bottle of water. But it’s all true, he was really there. And he knows my name.






“Ah… yes. I am”







I could only force out a slight smile, stuttered a bit from my words; feeling the wariness slowly creeping up on me. I saw his smile grew wider before he walked around the bench and casually sat right next to me. I tried to scoot a bit to the other side, embarrassed that I would smell like the sun, because of all the times he could approach me, why does it have to be now?






“Here. I’m sure you’re thirsty for doing all those work.”






After hearing his deep yet gentle voice, I felt myself completely cooled down. Was he watching me all this time? I could only reach out for the bottle and slightly bow at him in gratitude. And as soon as I felt the coldness of the bottle against my palm, I quickly turned to the other side and hastily opened the bottle and gulped down the water. Nothing beats the cold refreshing feeling in the throat of a newly bought bottled water.






I heard him chuckled behind me, and that’s when I snapped back from my moment and quickly turned back to him. I wiped my lips with the back of my hand as my head was slightly bowed down in embarrassment. I heard him cleared out his throat, that’s when I looked up and saw him looking directly at me. His deep dark eyes are beautiful especially now that I could see it clearly. Just then, I felt the sudden warmth on both of my cheeks, and a sudden tickling sensation inside my stomach. How could a man be this wonderfully handsome? Those deep dark eyes and his plumped cheek bones were all clear to my eyes. I bet the girls in our class would shout with both delight and envy once they knew about this.






Our eyes locked with each other for a while, before I swiftly shifted my gaze ahead, fanning myself; blaming it all to the hotness of summer for making me feel this weird.






“This coming Thursday, we’ll be having a game. I hope you could be there and watch us play.”






I turned back to him again and wondered why he was looking at me with those serious eyes. I could only nod in response before I saw another smile crept on his lips. He suddenly stood up which startled me again, I saw him got his handkerchief from his pocket and without another word; I felt it touched my forehead.






“I’ll see you on Thursday Sandara…”





With that, he reached for my hand and placed his handkerchief on it before he turned around and left, waving back at me. I was dumbfounded for a while, recollecting my thoughts of what just happened. Thinking if those things were just some sort of hallucination, but when I looked down on my hands, I saw the bottle of water and his white handkerchef, enough proof that Choi Seunghyun was really there and even invited me to watch their game.






I just found myself wearing an unexplainable smile on my face and still that warm feeling on both of my cheeks were there, confusing me if it’s really because of the hotness of summer.






I was still in a bit daze when I reached the back yard of our campus. But then quickly shook my head for me to focus on the bitter fate that was in store for me. But upon seeing the grounds that I am supposed to clean, I felt my one of my brow rose up in confusion.






“How..-?”





I asked myself but couldn’t even finish my sentence as puzzlement filled my entire mind. I could only blink in amazement as my head turned from right to left.






The wide backyard was free from any garbage. Even the dried leaves were all swept off and had already been disposed, leaving a long clean shaded pathway.






After a while, I gasped. Remembering Seunghyun’s sentence from earlier; with him knowing about my punishment, was it him who cleaned this whole area?






Both of my hands covered my mouth as my eyes widen in much surprise. Why would he do that? I asked myself; only to feel that weird feeling inside of me and the burning feeling on both of my cheeks again.







It was my first time to feel the oddness going on inside my stomach, it felt like my intestines were being tied into knots, was it what they call “butterflies in stomach”? Why would Seunghyun know about me? Why would he bother to give me that bottle of water? Why would he bother to invite me to their game when it’s in fact a requirement in our PE to watch it? And especially, why would he help me to clean up the yard?





I felt my cheeks burned once again just by thinking about the incident from earlier. I didn’t tell anyone about it, for I am saving it to tell to Jiyong. He’s smart and intelligent; he would probably be able to figure out the reasons why Seunghyun would do such things.






Another thing that bothered me was the unstoppable giddiness I feel inside, I couldn’t erase the smile on my lips even until after a couple of hours had passed after that incident; and still, when I was about to go to Jiyong’s room to tell him those things, the smile on my face was still clearly seen.






I happily hopped my way, excited to tell my best friend about what happened when he was not around. It was lunch time, students were all out to eat, and when I reached his room and about to enter and shout out the happenings of earlier, my steps were held back. I was immediately went rooted on the ground and felt the smile on my lips slowly vanished. I saw Jiyong inside their room, seated on his table with his back facing me as he was talking with another girl. It was supposed to be an ordinary scene, but what held me back from my steps was when I saw the clear bliss on the girl’s beautiful face. And when Jiyong looked to his side, it didn’t escape my eyes to see that sweet smile on the side of his lips. My mind instantly went blank. That same warm smile when he rescued Tam tam from those bullies back then. It’s my first time seeing him this close to another person, especially with a girl. It’s my first time seeing him smiling this way, especially when it’s not with me.






Weird things immediately filled my mind. Superman was smiling at another girl. Just then, that weird feeling topped the bliss inside of me. I found myself stepping back, away from his room, until I realized that I was running away from it and back to my building. It’s weird, it’s just so weird. This day was all weird. Has summer given me what they call “summer sickness”?






The ride going home was awfully quiet. I too, felt the strangeness in myself for being this quiet. I was still seated on the back of his bike, holding on to him for support, while he drove us along the riverbanks with the sun setting down on us.





“Are you sick?”





I heard him ask, but all I could do was to sigh in response. I don’t know what has gotten into me for being this way but seeing him with that girl earlier, really bothered me. True, we had grown big; he’s not the toothless superman from back then anymore. He’s now Jiyong, one of the popular guys in school; my best friend shouldn’t be my caretaker anymore, I am not his only playmate anymore. But thinking about these things saddens me, for it entails that we should grow apart as well and thinking about him leaving me was even worse.






For days it was like that, with me being quiet all the time. With me seeing him with that girl. With me hearing some girls in my class talking about him and that girl. How could I be so blind not seeing what was happening? Has superman finally found his Lois Lane? I could only stay in silence and be drowned by my unexplainable sadness that I too was figuring out why should I feel that way. Was it because he has never told me about it? Or was it because I am afraid that my superman wouldn't be there anymore when I ask for him?






“Dara-ah. You must grow up. It’s not that Jiyong will always be there to do things for you.”






I remembered my mom always telling me that, but no matter how I try, I’ll always end up depending on Jiyong. I always end up looking for him. From my school works, with him always accompanying me to everywhere, with him fixing things that I always failed to do; I even plead him to study at the same high school because I was too stupid to pass the school that he passed first. How can I stand by myself when I know that all this time he had been my feet?







He never asked what’s wrong; he never complained about the deafening silence I am giving him, after all it’s probably what he has wanted for right at the beginning. I was such a nuisance, while he was so patient listening to me all the time, I never asked what he wanted while he gave me every of his attention just to aid up all of my whines, I had been selfish all this time, while he never complained and just stayed by my side.






“Dara-ah… Let’s go to the summer festival this weekend”






I was a bit startled when he suddenly invited me. Usually, it is me who will remind him of these things. But today, I even forgot that it’s finally the festival this weekend.







My eyes widen as I realized something, my brows furrowed in worry. Last Thursday, after the football game, Seunghyun approached me, which again surprised me, he invited me to the festival, and it slipped out from my mind that I forgot to tell Jiyong about it.







I bit on my lower lip. Of course, I want to go with Jiyong, it’s like a tradition for us to go there together and try out all the booths, how could I easily accept Seunghyun’s invitation without even thinking about my best friend?






“Are you planning on doing something else?”






Jiyong broke my thoughts. I heard myself sigh in guilt before telling him the truth, it was silent for a while before I saw him glanced back a bit and smiled.






“Ah. It’s okay. It’s good to have someone else to join you just for a change.”






Hearing him say that added more to the sadness I am feeling inside. Was it really for me, or for him? Nothing’s good about it. But I couldn’t do anything but to just nod at him in response.






“Just for a change”






I didn’t understand what he meant by it, rather I don’t want to understand it. For if the change he was talking about is having him not in it, I’d rather not to accept that change. But it’s all too late now, I myself even forgot about our ‘tradition’ for I have been swept off by the tickling giddiness inside my guts, just because of a guy, how can I clearly tell myself that I will still need Jiyong all throughout that ‘change’.